When I stumbled upon connecting with the energy of my Ego on 1/19/2021, I had no idea what was going to open up and come to light. In meditation, I heard back then that I was supposed to write a book about this. Even though I know nothing about writing a book or where to begin, I sat down at my computer on January 13th and started. It is channel-written meaning using mediumship skills to receive information that I type it instead of speaking it to someone. We (the Ego Collective and I) have about 150 pages and new ideas of how to contribute to the spectrum of information continue to arrive, usually around 4:45 a.m. 🙂 The Ego Collective has so much to teach all of us about how to better accept and love ourselves as well as each other and they have lots of ideas how to do that. I will be starting to share excerpts from the book on social media and here.
There will be a podcast starting sometime soon about all the cool Ego info. It will include talking to people who have had Ego Readings and what has changed for them, how to see where we are being egoic and how to apply love and compassion to help us stop leaning on that to help us manage our lives. Hopefully there will be lots of laughs as well as lots of truth and some well-deserved tears. I will share that with you when it happens. I had my first podcast guest appearance on For Our Special Kids, episode 18. Please let me know what you think.
I recently updated the services offered on this website to reflect new classes, a coaching program, Ego readings as well as some pretty graphics and more real information about me and why I do what I do. I have been taking different courses to help build my skills and awareness and building support and community around all of it.
On a more personal note, the channeled information for the book has been very eye-opening. I have been given lots of practice with my part of the book to reveal things about myself as transparently as possible. I know this is important to illustrate different distinctions through stories and examples as well as to be the example of not hiding behind trying to look good or seem smart. It feels weird sometimes to be creating a book about healing something that I am still in the throws of. I have been reminded many times that I would forget how painful it is to go through this process and my role is to invite people in so that they feel me holding their hand and we walk through this together.
I am trying to bravely and openly face the ways I have been and am very egoic. That’s not a bad word although what we have been taught about ego and it’s uses, I’m sure it sounds like it. It’s hard to be succinct without leaving out a lot but if I can boil it down, what I mean by egoic is finding defense mechanisms to protect myself. I have used lots of fear and shame to avoid feeling the pain of why I feel fear and shame. I am also recognizing the cost of protecting myself in these ways and am motivated to do things differently. Now that I am learning to be vulnerable like never before, I am seeing the difference. I did not realize how separate I kept myself in some ways by hiding information about my past. I guess I forgot I was doing that because it became normal and it started out with me trying to find a way move on. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of people I love and feel close with. There is just a lot I haven’t said about myself so I could avoid any judgement, rejection or fear of looking like a loser. I have started sharing the hidden parts and having conversations I never thought I could. Granted, this involves feeling briefly awkwardly naked, feeling some fear and doing it anyway and appropriate sadness about what I am sharing. However, afterwards, I notice my chest relaxing (didn’t realize it was tense) and I feel more intimately connected than ever to the person I am sharing with. I am feeling more myself than I have ever let myself be and am grateful to have the awareness so that I am able to make the changes to live better.
You may not relate to the idea of Ego or being egoic. It’s all part of the human experience however we dice it up. I would love to hear your insights about that self-protective part of you, how that has played its’ part in your life and where you see yourself changing that.
Please reach out if there is something I can do to support you.
Connecting with Noelle 