Author: noelledeane

It doesn’t just seem to fly anymore. The most honest thing I can say about all the time that has passed and the lack of completion of projects I listed in my last post is I haven’t done them. Lots of other things happened and shifted. I have felt really stuck and distracted for what feels like a long time. Finally, the direction seems clearer. I have more clarity, support, openness and inspiration than I’ve have in the last year. Things keep twisting and turning and the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter.

There are now four books that have been started using the channel-writing process. I have recently started writing again and am pretty excited to create a shorter-term project: a brief beginner’s guide to mediumship. My goal to create an accessible, short read to put the important ideas on people’s radars. It will cover things from grounding, setting and respecting boundaries, empath awareness, what are possible signs, signals and messages from Spirit and what to do with the information you are getting and more. I have a lot of clarity for this guide after teaching an intro class to mediumship (DIAM) for the past 2 years as well as supported a few people through their spiritual and mediumship awakening.

The intention of the podcast is to empower and support all of us in integrating our spirituality (awareness and healing) into all areas of our everyday lives. I will be using different formats including interviews with people in all different stages of their spiritual development, healing and awareness as well as sharing my own journey and conversations with people on both sides of the veil. I am currently editing my first episode. My guest is a young woman I have known a long time who is talking about the spiritual gifts she is newly experiencing and debating about when, how and even if she wants to use them. I hope you will find it interesting.

I am still offering classes, readings, and coaching. If you could use some support in any of these areas, please reach out. If I can’t help you I may know someone who can. There is lots of deep healing that can be available through embracing our spiritual gifts and connecting with our spiritual team and loved ones.

When I stumbled upon connecting with the energy of my Ego on 1/19/2021, I had no idea what was going to open up and come to light. In meditation, I heard back then that I was supposed to write a book about this. Even though I know nothing about writing a book or where to begin, I sat down at my computer on January 13th and started. It is channel-written meaning using mediumship skills to receive information that I type it instead of speaking it to someone. We (the Ego Collective and I) have about 150 pages and new ideas of how to contribute to the spectrum of information continue to arrive, usually around 4:45 a.m. 🙂 The Ego Collective has so much to teach all of us about how to better accept and love ourselves as well as each other and they have lots of ideas how to do that. I will be starting to share excerpts from the book on social media and here.

There will be a podcast starting sometime soon about all the cool Ego info. It will include talking to people who have had Ego Readings and what has changed for them, how to see where we are being egoic and how to apply love and compassion to help us stop leaning on that to help us manage our lives. Hopefully there will be lots of laughs as well as lots of truth and some well-deserved tears. I will share that with you when it happens. I had my first podcast guest appearance on For Our Special Kids, episode 18. Please let me know what you think.

I recently updated the services offered on this website to reflect new classes, a coaching program, Ego readings as well as some pretty graphics and more real information about me and why I do what I do. I have been taking different courses to help build my skills and awareness and building support and community around all of it.

On a more personal note, the channeled information for the book has been very eye-opening. I have been given lots of practice with my part of the book to reveal things about myself as transparently as possible. I know this is important to illustrate different distinctions through stories and examples as well as to be the example of not hiding behind trying to look good or seem smart. It feels weird sometimes to be creating a book about healing something that I am still in the throws of. I have been reminded many times that I would forget how painful it is to go through this process and my role is to invite people in so that they feel me holding their hand and we walk through this together.

I am trying to bravely and openly face the ways I have been and am very egoic. That’s not a bad word although what we have been taught about ego and it’s uses, I’m sure it sounds like it. It’s hard to be succinct without leaving out a lot but if I can boil it down, what I mean by egoic is finding defense mechanisms to protect myself. I have used lots of fear and shame to avoid feeling the pain of why I feel fear and shame. I am also recognizing the cost of protecting myself in these ways and am motivated to do things differently. Now that I am learning to be vulnerable like never before, I am seeing the difference. I did not realize how separate I kept myself in some ways by hiding information about my past. I guess I forgot I was doing that because it became normal and it started out with me trying to find a way move on. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of people I love and feel close with. There is just a lot I haven’t said about myself so I could avoid any judgement, rejection or fear of looking like a loser. I have started sharing the hidden parts and having conversations I never thought I could. Granted, this involves feeling briefly awkwardly naked, feeling some fear and doing it anyway and appropriate sadness about what I am sharing. However, afterwards, I notice my chest relaxing (didn’t realize it was tense) and I feel more intimately connected than ever to the person I am sharing with. I am feeling more myself than I have ever let myself be and am grateful to have the awareness so that I am able to make the changes to live better.

You may not relate to the idea of Ego or being egoic. It’s all part of the human experience however we dice it up. I would love to hear your insights about that self-protective part of you, how that has played its’ part in your life and where you see yourself changing that.

Please reach out if there is something I can do to support you.

That’s right. I said it. I just added some text about what it means to connect with your Ego. It was a good reminder to share a simple tip that just might provide some extra peace.

When you hear ‘that voice’, and we all know that voice – that is likely your ego. See if you can distinguish it from your other thoughts. It has a certain tone to it and a particular kind of tense energy. It is likely expressing a ‘concern’ about something you actively want to avoid, like being embarrassed, being a fraud or being broke. You can argue with it or fight against it, try to ignore it or however you have been coping with it all these years.

Next time you notice this voice rising up, try to understand what is happening and why it is getting louder. Are you not setting a boundary that you really should be? Are you thinking about making a change in your life but don’t feel very confident about the outcome? Think of this voice, your ego, as a 13 year old sibling that you love, that you know loves you and you have lots of patience for. Remember, there is not always a lot of logic involved in the reactions of a 13 year old to situations or how you are handing those situations. Acknowledge that you can hear they are concerned about what is happening. You can’t really help but hear the concern but try to see it as they are trying in their own way to protect you from something bad happening. Then, gently remind them that you are handling it (if you are doing so) and they don’t have to worry. If you took those steps with an actual 13 year old who was fired up but had good intentions buried deep, they would stop what they are doing, recognize it isn’t necessary and they would likely stop. It may take some practice and lots of self-compassion to see positive results but the efforts could really be worth it. If you try it, please share about your experience. Inquiring minds want to know 🙂

Signing off with love, Noelle

A few amusing things worth sharing.

The most recent was a reading over zoom with a woman whose husband passed away. I realized I was using a lot of hand gestures to explain what he was saying to me that she couldn’t see. I moved the camera down to focus a little bit lower. The thought occured to me that even though I had reconstructive surgery (post-breast cancer), my chest was still (being tactful right now) pretty modest. This is not a thought I would normally have during a reading and then…. wait just a minute … I share this with my sitter, recognizing that this was her husband’s opinion, not mine. She laughs, and shares that she recently realized he was ‘a boob guy.’ Wow, I see in every reading that people take their personalities with them but I guess their ‘preferences’ go with them too.

I was reading for a woman and we were connecting with her loving grandmother. I was saying something about this woman that, I guess, sounded like I was comparing her (favorably of course) against others but was a bit of a put down to the others. Suddenly I felt a pinprick on my chin. There is no other explanation for that sudden sensation. I ask my sitter about this and apparently, if her grandmother didn’t like what you said or did, she just might flick you. Guess she wasn’t a fan of comparing people and I will likely not forget that, I mean flick me once….

About a month ago I was out on a morning walk. My attention was drawn across the street where I notice a man walking a dog who is wearing an Elizabethan collar, you know, the embarrassing post-surgery kind. I feel that I should offer healing energy to the dog. I put my mask up, get close enough after trotting across the street to catch up to the two of them but not getting too close. I tell the man I do energy work and ask if it would be okay to give his dog some healing energy. He starts to tell me that his dog is a service dog, just had surgery and ….I stopped hearing him as I see him defensively trying to away from me about as quickly as he could. Not sure what he thought I was really asking. I grumble to myself – damn, I should have just asked the dog. I laughed at myself because that thought sounded ridiculous. Then I laughed at myself because I really meant it. 🙂

Why am I writing about ego? Because that is the information I am getting. I am getting it for me and for everybody. This is what I got last night: the ego is the warrior. Whispers in your head or yells at you sometimes. Takes pleasure in negativity. Feeds insecurity. Makes you worry about being wrong or embarrassed; being made a fool of; feeling stupid. Not measuring up or being smart enough. (Mine used to say I was a F%$# up, nobody cares about me or loves me and I have to protect myself against people which included a list of how people I know have wronged me and would bring it up often.)

The ego can feel like having the enemy on the inside. They know your weakness or insecurity or pain and can rub salt in it by reminding you when anything triggers thoughts thoughts and it just doesn’t let it go. They can stay mad at people and just go around and around about why. There are times they are chattering away and times when they are quieter. An intimate frienemy that you can’t control or get away from.

I was involved with a program that talked about the ego twice born. Part of that concept was to recognize when your ego is present (like yammering in your head) and you give it a job like being in charge of you brushing your teeth. When we did certain work, our egos were quieter. It was helpful to distinguish some of the thoughts in my head were from there and not a more genuine part of me.

This morning it came to me that I could only write about this and genuinely and humbly do whatever work I am supposed to do because it’s not about me or about me being special. There is a clear pattern to what she says that I can now hear. This is very recent clarity that came about in doing readings. I can hear/see/sense information from Spirit and then there was this other voice that came in with ‘ideas’ which is one of her patterns – she desperately wants to feel clever and creative. I am having to manage her as I am typing this right now. My progress is being able to recognize it more in the moment. Since communicating with her, I feel less violated/intruded upon and can see it for what it is and let it go.

What is your clarity about your ego? Do you know what triggers them to be louder or softer? What or who does your ego try to protect you from? What does your ego want to prove to your or others about you? Can you see a way to have more space for them and not make it wrong? Maybe you don’t resonate with this at all. That’s okay. There is so much more to the Spiritual world. I guess this is where they want to start.

Signing off with love, Noelle

My ego’s name is Sapphire. I just really met her – like took the time to talk with her and treat her like a separate being rather than this annoyance I have to try to manage – 2 days ago. Recently, her input seemed pretty easy to distinguish as I heard it come through during readings. It would sound something like “HEY, I’ve got a brilliant idea, how about…” She loved to think she could think of something that nobody else could. That might sound helpful but it would feel like an impulse to share it, it would exclude others and be kind of dominating and it is definitely not the experience of being connected to source. I am not willing to let myself go down the path of shame about this, goodness knows I have spent enough of my life there. I can easily remember doing an important part of my regular job where I gave her free reign. I was supposed to be supporting others to come up with ideas of what would help their clients have success. Just saying – I usually made that all about me wanting to feel clever because of MY ideas. Yikes! How very 13 of me and not cute on a 40 something, now 50 something person. There’s lots more to share about my actual conversation with Sapphire but this feels like enough for now. To be continued. Signing off with love, Noelle

It’s about 4 a.m. I am up and typing. Victory for me is getting out of bed after reconciling myself to the fact that I am awakened around this time everyday now. And, if I say about myself that I am disciplined and obedient (to Source) then I guess I need to do that from now on. I get so much good information at this time of day, I can feel the wrongness of wasting the opportunity or thinking negatively about it. I remembered Michael Jackson being interviewed on TV many moons ago and answering the question about where his music came from. He mentioned something about it coming to him and joking that he was afraid not to answer the call because if he didn’t, the music would get sent to Prince. They might have been considered rivals at that time. Anywho, here I am. I am here to share with you what has been shared with me. Nothing fancy. Nothing added. I may go back and recapture a few things for you that felt very big for me and you may get something out of it as well. One of the words that came to me was ‘transparency’ and then a stream of ways I could be transparent about this journey I am on could be helpful in you seeing yourself, your experiences, what you may be curious about and maybe inspirations like the ones I have received will spark you to be so moved that you’ll be up at 4 a.m. or whenever the call comes to answer it. Signing off with love, Noelle