There are moments in life that divide everything into “before” and “after.” For me, that moment was January 31, 2021, when my beautiful daughter was killed by a drunk driver in a hit-and-run accident. She crossed over to the other side alongside her beloved dachshunds, who were with her. My husband and I were completely devastated. The shock was beyond words. Our world stopped, and I truly didn’t know how I would survive.
After visiting the accident site to smudge and honor my daughter, an unexpected gift came into my life. Noelle Deane, who lives near my mother’s home, learned of my loss and generously offered me a complimentary session simply to sit, talk, and see if any spiritual messages or energies might come through.
I had no idea what to expect. I wasn’t looking for answers so much as reaching for anything that might help me make sense of the unimaginable. From the moment I arrived, Noelle welcomed me with warmth and compassion. She greeted me with a hug, and we sat together on her beautiful flower-filled patio, surrounded by crystals, plants, and a peaceful atmosphere, sharing tea as we talked.
From the very beginning, I knew Noelle genuinely cared—not only for me but for my daughter. She described details about my daughter that I had never shared. She spoke about her long fingers, her beauty, and her graceful spirit. Hearing those things touched my heart deeply because they were so true.
She also shared messages that were incredibly meaningful. One image she received was of people holding hands. At the time, it didn’t mean anything to me. Later, when I was finally able to recover photos and videos from my daughter’s crushed phone, I found a video of my daughter and her friends holding hands and singing together as they drove to Big Bear to celebrate her 30th birthday. The accident happened later that same evening. Since then, songs about holding hands and reaching for one another have continued to appear in my life, reminding me of that beautiful connection.
A few months later, Noelle shared her dream of creating a class to help grieving people learn to recognize and trust their own spiritual connections with loved ones. I immediately joined. Our group included people grieving spouses, children, divorce, and many other profound losses. Together, we learned, supported one another, and discovered that love truly continues beyond this life.
Those classes became a lifeline.
I can honestly say they helped save my life. During the darkest period of my grief, Noelle offered gentle guidance, hope, compassion, and unwavering support. She later encouraged another classmate and me to become mentors for future groups and to create our own support circles where classmates could continue practicing and growing together.
Even after I completed her classes, Noelle never disappeared from my life. More than five years later, she continues to walk beside me. We meet regularly to explore ways of connecting with my daughter in spirit. Whether we’re together in person, talking over video, or simply speaking on the phone, I continue to experience moments that bring healing, comfort, and a profound sense that love never ends.
Noelle has an extraordinary gift, but what has meant the most to me is her heart. She is gentle, deeply compassionate, intuitive, and fully present. There have been many times when she has physically sensed the emotions I was experiencing before I ever spoke them aloud. Her kindness has never wavered.
Today, while grief will always be part of my life, I have learned to lead with love, light, and a deeper understanding of spirit. I know, without question, that I would not be in the healthy place I am today without Noelle’s guidance, her classes, and her friendship.
Perhaps the greatest gift of all has been the relationship I continue to have with my daughter. Through the work I’ve done with Noelle—and through my own willingness to stay open, learn, and trust Spirit—my connection with my daughter has grown immensely. In many ways, I feel like I’m still developing my relationship with my daughter, just in a different way. I no longer feel that death ended our relationship. It changed it.
I feel my daughter’s presence in my life. I experience her love, her guidance, her humor, and her personality in ways I never imagined were possible. She has even come through during the grief classes that Noelle and I have taught together, offering encouragement, love, and little reminders that she is still very much a part of what we’re doing. There are even times when she comes through to Noelle when I’m not there, and I absolutely love hearing those stories afterward.
The thing that always makes me smile is that my daughter is still her wonderfully goofy, playful self. We laugh together often. Even in the middle of this incredibly difficult work of grief and healing, there is joy. There is humor. There is love.
That may be one of the most profound lessons Noelle has helped me discover—that grief and joy can exist together. Love doesn’t end when someone crosses the veil. Relationships continue, they evolve, and they can become even deeper when we are willing to open our hearts.
What a precious gift, the knowing and discovering that my daughter’s love is still with me every single day, shows the lasting impact Noelle has had in our lives. I am able to witness and reach out to other grieving moms.
If you are grieving, searching, or longing to feel connected to someone you love who has crossed over, I cannot recommend Noelle highly enough. She helped me find hope when I truly believed my life was over, and for that, I will be forever grateful. Jocelyn Merhab
Connecting with Noelle 